Losing your baby before 12 weeks of pregnancy
Date issued: March 2025
For review: March 2027
Ref: A-632/HF/Early Pregnancy/Losing your baby before 12 weeks of pregnancy v2
PDF: Losing your baby before 12 weeks of pregnancy.pdf [pdf] 258KB
We realise this is a very difficult and distressing time for you, and we offer our condolences.
Many parents worry about what will happen following a pregnancy loss. We will always treat you and your pregnancy remains with dignity and respect.
The team in the Early Pregnancy Unit is here from 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday and are happy to answer any questions you may have.
There is also support from our Bereavement Midwives if you feel this would help you with your grieving process.
Contact details
Early Pregnancy Unit 01752 430887
(8am to 6pm, Monday to Friday)
Bereavement Midwives 01752 433148
(8am to 4pm, Monday to Friday)
Ocean Suite (after hours) 01752 430026
(6pm to 8am, Monday to Friday, and weekends)
What happens to my pregnancy remains?
Some women ask to see what they have lost, but it isn’t always possible to see a recognisable baby. This is likely to be the case if you miscarry at less than 12 weeks of pregnancy or if a surgical procedure is required. In most cases it isn’t possible to identify the sex of the baby as the pregnancy is so early.
It’s normal practice for any pregnancy remains which are passed whilst in hospital to be sent for examination. This is to identify pregnancy tissue and to try and identify the reason for the miscarriage. All babies / remains of pregnancy are treated with the greatest respect.
If an examination has been requested, a small tissue sample will be processed into microscopic slides. It is best practice to store this sample as part of your medical records. You can ask for the remains to be returned and sensitivity disposed of as you request (see below). Sometimes there is no residual tissue left after testing due to the nature of sample size.
Your choices following the loss of your pregnancy before 12 weeks' gestation
There are several arrangement options available to you, as described below, and these options will be discussed with you by your nurse, midwife or doctor.
Making your own arrangements
If you choose this option, we suggest a burial in a plant pot with your chosen plant. This would enable the memorial to be with you at all times should you move home.
You also have the option to consider a burial in your garden. However, this would require the following guidance:
- It must not cause danger to others.
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It must not interfere with any rights other people may have on the land.
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There must be no danger to water supplies or watercourses.
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There must be no chance of bodily fluids leaking into adjoining land.
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The fetal tissue and pregnancy remains must be buried at a depth of at least 18 inches (45cm).
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Permission must be obtained from the landowner if the parents do not own the land.
Careful thought must be given when considering burial in a garden. You should consider what would happen if you moved house or the land is redeveloped in the future.
For a pregnancy loss under 12 weeks' gestation, unfortunately paperwork isn’t available for you to arrange a private funeral with a funeral director.
You may not be able to take the pregnancy remains home with you straight away due to further investigations, but you can arrange to collect within 3 months, contacting the named team on the consent form. If we do not hear from you, the hospital will proceed according to their standard procedures of sensitive incineration.
You will be asked to sign a consent form confirming your preferred choice when you have made your decision.
Hospital arranged burial
The hospital can arrange a shared burial of your pregnancy loss.
Once a month all pregnancy losses are taken to Weston Mill Baby Memorial Garden in a small hearse known as a hearsette, for communal burial alongside other pregnancy losses. A Hospital Chaplain is normally present. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to attend this service, but you are able to visit the memorial garden, which provides some families with a place to find peace and tranquillity for moments of quiet reflection. These communal burials are unmarked.
Sensitive incineration
The hospital can arrange a shared sensitive incineration of your pregnancy loss. This is carried out on-site at a protected time to ensure sensitivity. There will be neither a service nor any ashes for collection.
I have not yet decided
If you have not decided within 4 weeks, we will proceed to make arrangements for sensitive incineration. Please contact the Bereavement Midwives within the 4-week period if you are considering changing your decision.
Bereavement Midwives
Phone 01752 433148
Email; plh-tr.bereavementmidwives@nhs.net
(8am to 4pm, Monday to Friday)
Afterwards
You may find that it is difficult to think things through at present. This can be normal after losing a baby.
After a few months or even a couple of years you may begin to want to talk about what has happened. You are welcome to contact the Department of Pastoral and Spiritual Care to arrange to see a Chaplain. Our chaplains are here to offer a non-judgemental, confidential listening ear; to be alongside you as you try to make sense of your situation.
The Bereavement Midwife may also be able to offer support.
Please contact your Nurse, Midwife, Bereavement Midwife, or the Department of Pastoral and Spiritual Care, if you have any further questions or if you need further support.
For some parents, the sadness of pregnancy loss before 24 weeks is increased by the fact that there is no formal documentation that acknowledges the loss of their baby. There is a certificate that parents may wish to request via gov.uk but you do not need to request this certificate if you do not want to, it is not a legal document.
Contact details
Department of Pastoral & Spiritual Care
01752 245255
(8:30am to 4:30pm, Monday to Friday)
Bereavement Midwives
Phone 01752 433148
Email; plh-tr.bereavementmidwives@nhs.net
(8am to 4pm, Monday to Friday)
